I amaze myself...

So I decided for my 1 year-celebration of my last post, that I would buck it up and give a little somethin somethin.  A lot has changed since then. 

The most drastic change:  Instead of experiencing my no-dating internship, I'm two and a half months into a beautiful marriage.  This summer I married my love, Kyle, in Hesston, KS.  It was beautiful, and we are enjoying the learning process together. 

Maybe I won't wait another year till next time...

Intro

I'm two weeks into the Intro to IHOP training program and I'm loving it. 

My favorite part:  singing on a Harp and Bowl worship team ("I was made for this!")

The hardest part:  carrying my heart with integrity and joy as the program has a no dating policy

A testimony:  the Lord has miraculously provided finances during the last month

The current state of my heart:  aching for His nearness

New Season

I was listening to a song the other day...it was actually at 4:30 in the morning on this incredible road trip to Henderson, NE to see my beloved friends from Bolivia.  Anyway, the song says "It's a New Season..."

It's true.  It IS a new season!  My job ends in two weeks, and I'm moving, again.  My roommate found a beautiful house that we'll be sharing with 3 others.  My current two roommates plus two other great girls.  Wow, I'm overwhelmed with the way God directs our paths.

I'll be starting a program with IHOP at the end of August.  It'll basically give me a chance to take some classes and spend more structured time in the prayer room.  There's even the possibility of being part of a worship team.  And the other day I read a letter that recommended that each person have a laptop.  So I reminded the Lord that I didn't have one.  He can totally bring me a laptop, no problem!  Today I was talking with a good friend of mine and asked her to pray with me for a laptop.  She goes to her closet and pulls out her old laptop!  Wow, I'm overwhelmed with Hs extravagance! 

Can somebody say TRANSITION?

This week contains the most endings/beginnings I've had for awhile.

1. I moved into a new apartment.

2. Kyle left for 2 months in Siloam Springs.

3. My dance class ended.

4. My biblestudy ended and my leader friends are moving to FL.

Ok, so writing it down makes it seem less daunting.  But either way, I felt a bit lost this weekend.  I wasn't sure how to schedule my days or what to do next.  It actually resulted in a lot of quality time spent with my new roommies.  The Lord is so good at redeeming things that we can't see the good in. 

Speaking of redemption, I've been thinking about something lately.  Though this new season in my life is less than easy, I have felt at rest.  Knowing that Someone has His hand on me brings a lot of peace.  I know that He is working in me something that will be pleasing to Him, and that is my ultimate desire.  His banner over me truly is love!  His leadership over my life is so good and wise.  In the disorder and confusion, I can rest in the fact that He is leading me.

Still Thirsty?

I love Easter.  I mean, it's probably my favorite holiday.  The life that shows itself in everything from spring tulips to little girls in dresses makes my heart a bit lighter and gives my step a little extra spring.  I went to Hesston for Easter this year, and I was anticipating a perfect weekend. 

Somehow, though, I drove back to Kansas City on Sunday afternoon a little discouraged and a lot disillusioned.  I couldn't figure out why I was so frustrated.  Kyle was the one who spoke truth at the right moment.  He noticed during the weekend that tradition and family gathering that surround holidays are very important to me.  He wondered if I sometimes put too much stock in them--that I think they will satisfy some deep need.  The result is that I get easily disappointed when they aren't all I thought they would be. 

In John 7:37, Jesus is attending one of the highest celebrations in the Jewish culture, the Feast of Tabernacles.  "On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."  Jesus knew that the Feast could not satisfy the heart. 

So I am reminded in the midst of my disappointment that well-planned services, gorgeous sunrises or family gatherings do not fulfill me.  But Jesus is my Source, and my Satisfaction.  And He invites me to come.